Tuesday, 30 April 2013


Today he kicked me finally. no you cant blame me. I am a widower and like most old Indian widower I am cynical and irritating. I badmouth, I curse and and I do all those things which will make anybody hate me. I don't want anybody in my room I don't want anybody touching my things especially the things which were hers. My grandchildren, both of them, hate me as much as I hate them. They are irresponsible impolite rascals. Why cant they let me live in peace! I don't need their mercy. All I need is my room, my medicine and my food. Yes, like always I still love good food. She, my wife if you cant guess, commented a lot, and she wasn't a great cook either, tried her best to give me foods I want. I can't eat ghaas phoos greenery always. We aren't grazing cows like I always used to say irritably. She never complained much.
I need to live with my only son who is a bloody rascal. Spineless creature who lives under the shadow of his wife. His wife is a creature from hell. I am glad my wife never had to tolerate her. She is devil incarnated. And, she has some enmity with me to settle score about. I don't know what and how this enmity was provoked at first but I know how much she despise me. And, I am pretty sure that its she who turned my grandchildren against me. I cursed her often. Mostly in my mind as I am scared of she making me leave this very household which I purchased and constructed with my blood. Never I took a vacation, never I bought a good shirt, never I bought a car so I could make this. And, although I am still the legal owner I am scared of getting thrown out of this house. This house, where memories of her till her last day is still alive with me.
It happened to me many times that they do things to irritate me. Like when I want to sleep my grandson and his bunch of scoundrel friends starts playing shrill and loud music if that can be called music at a horrible volume. My granddaughters friends giggle looking at my futile anger. Huh damn them all. I retire to my room which they ignored while renovating the house and removing the colour my wife chose thus my room isn't much to talk of. Moreover citing my bronchitis they didn't fit AC in my room. The fan makes more sound than air and still I am happy. there I still use a computer and listen to songs we used to listen together.
Today I woke up to horribly loud sound again. I was dreaming of her. Of our last vacation. I came out swearing at anything and everything. My daughter in law came out like she would be hitting me when I knocked at their door rather loudly she opened the door with displeasure and said how she would like me to go back to my room.
I went back muttering.
the maid didn't come today without notice. The princess who married my son was visibly perturbed. She had to cook and clean. Ohh such a great ordeal. The ordeal which my wife and mother did everyday of their lives. Then with eyes to burn me alive she came to my room to give me my lunch. The same vegetables and tasteless garbage which she cooks. She threw the plates on my table with less courtesy which you show to a street dog. I was mad. I gathered courage and threw my plates at her. 
"Get lost from my room you dirty lazy bitch" I shouted.
She went away swearing at me. I didn't guess what will happen next. Few minutes later she came to my room with her husband. Crying, sobbing like an innocent victim. My son used the tone which he never uses with her. "Have you thrown the plates at her?" he demanded shouting loudly.  
"Yes I did and don't shout u spineless slave of wife." 
"what what what did you say?" he shouted. I said "don't shout, I am your father" and I went at him holding my walking stick to beat him after twenty years. he defended himself and threw me back with a kick.
I am sitting now. I don't know which shock was higher, the physical one or the mental one. I was breathless sitting all shattered on the floor trying not to move.
He kicked me? I couldn't believe. Suddenly I remembered when he was in his mothers womb how I used to touch it and say "oi mate, kick me, come on gimme a kick."
He fulfilled my desire thirty years later.
I suddenly started crying taking her name.

No comments: