Wednesday, 7 May 2008

Ek bhari ghazal

Ek jism mein shaamil aur kitne wajud karein
Har ek pal mein apni hasti aur kahaan maojud karein

qasd-e-zindagi to kabhi ehsaas-e-hayat ko dhoonda
mile koi chaak-e-qabaa jinko hum bhi sujud karein

raah-e-nusrat mein fahli hai kuchle huye armaan-o-sar
humne to chalna chhod diya, karna jo ma'abud karein

Har rooh nangi sahi har chahra ba-hijaab hai
asal ki parwah na hai to phir kyun jama sood karein

raah-e-jahaan kab badli hai justju-e-Aseer se
aao chhode raah-e-fasaadi, aao ke iski taabud karein
some typical urdu words I used are
qasd= maqsad, aim
qabaa= long dress, especially black
nusrat= kaamyaabi, success
ma'abud= ilahi, God
sood= interest, byaj
raah-e-fasaadi= rebel ways
Aseer= Qaidi, prisoner
taabud= servitude

Wednesday, 30 April 2008

Harun bhai, miss you

Hot Kolkata afternoon. It was my first day in Kolkata after I came home and I had planned my trip for no less than 21 days to travel a distance of 23 kilometers. But I will keep it short so that the occasional surfer can read before his interest vaporizes.

I was travelling from Park Street to Howrah Station in a all new white line bus introduced by WB govt. It is bound to stop at very few stops but the mid day traffic was making it to stop after every inch. I was fortunate to get a window seat. Beside me sat a young Bengali mother with his 6 or 7 years old son. A quick glance told me that they were perhaps not economically well off.

The bus crawled to Esplanade and just in front of RajBhavan it stopped due to traffic. Anybody who has been to Kolkata may know how majestic this building looks from outside (can’t confirm about the inside view for obvious reasons). Suddenly the boy asked his mother who was sitting beside me in bored silence, perhaps due to the 43 degree we had that day, “Maa, whose house is this?” . “The Governor lives here.” The young mother replied “haven’t you read about him in your school?”. “He has a big house” the boy exclaimed.

Suddenly, the boy said “Maa, suppose if we were to live in this house and the governor in our house. He would have died of the heat. He would have died when the electricity is gone”.

Young mother was embarrassed. She tried to change the topic but the boy again asked “Maa wouldn’t they let us live here even for one day?”.

Harun-al-Rashid, are you listening?

Friday, 28 March 2008


yaqeen ban gaya hai jab tijarat ka ik samaan
ay dil kahin aur chal ke hai tu ab bhi nadaan

har fakr tut gaya har garur jhootha paya
ab karte hain doston ke bedili pe hi gumaan

waqif hoon khoob haqiqat-e-ranayee se main
koi to par bahlaye ke zakhm bharna hai asaan

is ikhtesaar-e-khatirdari se jab mujarrab hai tu
phir kyun is mahfil se aaj Aseer hai hairaan

ab jab aankhein benoor hai nashaad hai ye rooh
ab sab parda uth chuka hai, benaqaab hai insaan

Tuesday, 25 March 2008

A Conversation

A Conversation

Recorded by

Faiz A Faiz


Mourya Sheraton

Scene: Mourya Sheraton. National summit of a renowned institute is going on. The ACs are off. Students are in suits(which according to them are of cheap quality and highly uncomfortable). Two students A and B are sitting together.

A: don’t we loo perfect clown in this get up?

B: Yeah, we do. (pauses)

But then an educated person should always look like. Remember how much we pay those fashion designers to d├ęcor ourself.

A: at least the ACs should be on.

B: I feel so. (takes a deep breath)

(continues…) faculties are here too but they are in more comfortable clothes.

(suddenly everyone claps. Guess is another honcho has just finished his lecture).

A and B also clap.

A: Why the hell are you clapping? You don’t even know the topic.

B; Gentlemen claps only when others are clapping i.e. when they feel they should clap , they clap

(yawns..) I don’t understand.

A: What?

B: Why they expect us to understand topics in 30 minutes which they took 30 years to understand?

A: exactly.

B: It’s so monotonous.

A: cheer up. At least you are in a 5 tar hotel.

B: It is even more pathetic. For two days we are in a 5 star hotel and we haven’t enjoyed for a single moment.

A: (sigh…) You talk so well. You are almost always correct.

B: It is not like that. You have a very agreeable nature.

A: oh, it’s nothing. But by God, look at her (and they get engaged in a deep conversation about a very beautiful girl who is their classmate).

Suddenly everyone stands up and takes their shoes in their hands.

A: now, he has not talked that badly.

B: but he is asking for it. And as a future manager you must learn how to please everyone.

A: But you can’t please both Rama and Ravana at the same time!

B: Then you are not a good manager. You will never be on that podium to bore the future generation even after 20 yrs.

A: I wonder.

B: For the next 6 hours you are only allowed to do that.

A; don’t forget the sleep factor.

B laughs. Then cautiously checks whether anyone is noticing. Then relaxes.

Another honcho finishes. Among clapping comes the most awaited announcement. Students are asked to take their tea.

With plateful of unknown delicacies they start roaming. They come face to face with advertisements.

A: now what Hutch expects to gain by sponsoring our summit? All of us to change our connexions to Hutch?

B: oh no. its called quid pro quo. Our college will say “you know, HUTCH sponsored our summit” and Hutch will say “you know, we were the main sponsor of that summit at Sheraton”.

A: Its so silly.

B: everything regarding this is. (starts singing… yaara silli silly birha ke dhup me jalna)….

Jaan jalake rakh diya is silly thing ne.

Tea finishes. They reluctantly retraces to their seats.

Lecture starts again.

A: What about the faculty? Aren’t they bored?

B: I don’t know but I wish they are. They bore us everyday in class so let them get bored at least for two days.

A: (mockingly) you bad boy. You should respect your teachers.

B: (seriously) oh, but I do, I do. Now don’t drag me into any controversy. I am not a second class heroine of bollywood who are forced to survive on controversy.

A: (excitingly) have you seen my new Katrina Kaif wallpaper in my lapy? She is looking so cute.

B: she always look cute, whether on your lapy or not. (smiles)

(Then they doze for a while, curtain comes down.)


Scene: summit has ended for the day. Its evening. A and B are on the street outside the hotel, walking towards hostel probably to save a few rupees.

A: So how was the day?

B: you know that yourself.

A: I was but sleeping.

B: I can’t claim that I was awake.

A: What do you think about the whole thing?

B: That I wanna to be in the disciplinary committee next year.

A: why?

B: ‘coz none was monitoring heir activities. You can be free.

A: god observation.

B: oh that’s nothing. You only have to keep your eyes open.

A: oh, but you were sleeping, weren’t you?

(both starts laughing)

B: I can’t find a cigarette shop!

A: oh, there is one.

(They both lit and drags with closed eyes. Tremendous pleasure is visible on their face.)

A: now I feel burdens removed.

B: huh.

(Silently they drag for a few moments)

A: so. What do you make out of the topic of the summit?

B: what was ir?

(they try to remember, stress is evident)

A: it was something like “unleashing India’s transformation for growth potential” or was it “transforming India’s growth potential for unleashing”?

(they both discuss the topic and after various permutation and combination of those words agree that the topic was “India’s potential growth for transforming unleashed”).

A: now what does that mean?

B: MBAs shouldn’t discuss topics which have any real meaning. The topics must be obscure. Only then they can debate. You know, you can only discuss and argue when nobody knows the answer and nobody understand the topic. So a very well chosen topic.

A: are you a cynic? Never do you talk straight.

B: whatever I do I have learnt from the big-shots. This is not an exception.


Monday, 24 March 2008

Interracial plights........................

Some people always claim about the unity of Indian subcontinent and to drive it into our subconscious quite consciously, they make us read it during our early years of education (this also means this theory is only saleable to the educated or better to say degree holders). But tell me is it so? Diversity is so much visible, Punjabis are popular jokestock of others, a Bengali is always a small and not-so-brave and uri-baba saying creatures and Biharis are uneducated (hats off to our union railway minister for popularizing this image) and a Jatth only understands about his latth. They say about cricket, but a Bengali will always pray for a century from Sourav and win for India is a secondary issue. So, grave is the problem.

Well if I elaborate on this issue then it will advertise only my poor and shallow knowledge. So I will talk about how this diversity or its language aspect can be killer for interracial friendship or relationship. I had three such experiences and I will list them chronologically.

I met this boy Jawed during my engg. Days. Along with others I was down to the dining hall and we had two chairs between us. But none of us knew the other. Neither it was known to me that Jawed doesn’t speak Bengali at all but can only guess. We started and somebody asked Jawed for the pulse which in Bengali is “Daal de”. Now the point is here D of Daal is as in Doll. Jawed was perplexed, and he smiled (those rather sheepish smiles people produce when they don’t understand at all, sorry Jawed bhai). The boy who asked was also surprised and asked someone else to forward the bowl of pulse. I was intrigued and when we made for our rooms on the third floor (of course that floor only, all the lower floors were preferred by the seniors) I asked him. He candidly said in hindi, I don’t understand Bengali, I am trying to learn. And that boy was asking me “Daal de” and I cudnt understand “kya Daalna hai”.

This friend of mine produced a lot of gems during his early Bengali learning months like when he developed a tummy he lamented, in bengali of course, “amar pet hoyeche” which in Bengali means ….ummmmmm….. blush blush………….. I am pregnant.

But I will not go listing all these as he used to produce one or two gems daily. Rather one day I went into his room looking for someone to accompany me to the far located snacks shop (well that is how my English skill translates a telebhaja or pakoda shop). He also said “yaar, I need a copy so I am coming of course”. We two moved and I was happy that he is purchasing coffee and thinking about how to get the maximum share of it. We two went to the snacks shop and had a favorite Bengali light food (by that time Jawed bhai was quite comfortable with that). Then we moved to the local stationary and I on Jawed’s request asked the shop owner for coffee. He produced a Nescafe costing around 50. I asked Jawed and he said “how come I know which size you want”. I was a bit perplexed but shrugged, considered and settled for a pack worth Rs. 25. Then I was looking towards Jawed to make the payment and vice versa. It was his turn of shrugging now and he produced his wallet and we started moving towards our hostel. Halfway Jawed startled and said, “yaar, I forgot to buy my copy”. I was bamboozled and reminded him of our recent purchase. He said “who needs coffee, I thought you need it, mujhe likhne ke liye copy chahiye(I need an exercise book to write on)”. Then we went back and fabricated a story on our way to cover our foolhardiness and somehow replaced the coffee with a copy. Not knowing the term popularly used for exercise books in hindi speaking regions, thus, demolished my hope of an early morning coffee before going to bed at someone else’s expense.

Lastly, this one is quite serious one if we consider all mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws share relationship like those portrayed in Ekta Kapoor’s soaps. My mother recently visited me in Dilli and looking at me produced one of her fond declaration “you look deadly thin and you need nutrition”. Well, I am engaged to a girl who is trying to learn Bengali very earnestly but sadly, isn’t Bengali. She duly paid a visit and I sent them both shopping, one acting as guide another one the explorer. It started with my mother’s announcement of going out to buy some sabzi and her daughter-to-be’s astonishment and suggestion that here in Dilli the hotels are of poor quality, not at all comparable to those of Lucknow’s and my mother shouldn’t buy sabzi from outside but should prepare those herself as I have the cooking facilities with me. Please note Sabzi in Bengali means raw vegetables and in Hindi cooked curries. I solved it for them but hardly knew what was coming.

I was busy surfing when the call came. My mobile showed an incoming call from my beloved’s mobile and I picked it up. She was almost whispering and asked me “babu, tum log magarmach khate ho?” meaning “Do you people eat crocodiles?”. I was stunned by this and gently enquired what on earth made her think that. Then she handed the phone to my mother who enquired something sounding similar “babu, ekhane magur mach kothai paoa jai re?” meaning “where can I find Magur fish here?”.

P.S. Magur is a species of fish which Bengalis prefer as nutritious and easy to digest.

Monday, 4 February 2008

A few way to know whether u love me

If I have the qualities u like and i have the faults which pains u- then u love me.
If I bring a smile on ur face and I can make u sob- then u love me.
If I have the jokes which makes u laugh and I have the sorrows which make u sad- then u love me.
If I have the pleasant features which u admire and I have the vices u can't tolerate - then u love me.
If u praise falsely for what I do poorly and show carelessness for my genuine qualities - then u love me.
If u leave my hand suddenly and if u grab it again.- then u love me.
If you remain aloof in public about my achievements and congratulate me when none is around- then u love me.
If u find my thousand qualities and u wonder what in me attracts u- then u love me.
If u phone just to hear my voice and you wonder why u phoned - then u love me.
If u love to listen me getting praised and you think you alone have te right to do it- then you love me.

Finally, if u love me then u love me but if u realise I love u the certainly love me.

Thursday, 17 January 2008

Illusions are made on earth

I am having a bad day with my sore left hand and found it another suitable excuse to skip my college. And while sitting and idly dragging my 7th cigarette of the day I started wondering about what made love marriages fail. Or the failure even before that. And believe me this sudden action of thought led me to the heights of philosophers of past like Socrates. I felt like writing down it with distant and highly imaginative hope of someone invariably have a sore left hand like me and out of boredom will read this crap .

First let me tell you, I am no Shri Hanuman bhakt myself. During adolescence I also had a sweet pain on the left side of my chest when saw any beautiful creature of opposite sex. And I think I used to take as long as 15 minutes to decide whether I am in love or not and the answer almost invariably was yes. Then some imagination of proposing her and asking friends for advice and cooperation which they were only glad to supply. But once in a while I had to drop the idea of even thinking of her and had to satisfy my inner feelings by expressing them on paper which I would later call as poems, like when I decided I am in love with a girl who occupied the seat facing me on a local train for one hour and three minutes.

Coming back from my own delightful experiences, I would really like to say something on the topic which is indicated by the heading. Love is the most beautiful feeling in this world. And please take my word as individual and don’t start thinking how u reacted when she accepted u as her boyfriend. But certainly love is the most blinding feeling in the world too.

Suppose you met someone in chat or in ur school or college or office or any place u can think of(I personally don’t venture into much places so I cant name more). But how much you(if u r thinking that these u’s are indicating u then please remind urself that these u’s are actually I’s) really know about whom your heart skips a beat. Only That portion which s/he has made u see. Or when u gather information from your friends(I am sure of this step too, don’t forget my past) they confirm only what they have been allowed to see. And all of us including you the reader and I the blogger show to the world our best parts only, very carefully blocking out images that can hurt our stature. So the very beginning of relationship is based on half truth(Ardha satya, in Indian language) which is deadlier than lie. I think Bhagbad geeta has a couplet on this although I m not sure.

Now any relationship which is not based on truth is fragile. It might take some months to break or sometimes some years.

What happens when we start discovering or rather unearthing the secret character of our best wo/man?

There was a blind person who went to see an elephant. When he saw the elephant, rather touched it he unfortunately touched the tail. And he started thinking that the elephant is not that big at least. He was very afraid of big animals. Someday later with the blessing of God he got his vision and he almost died after seeing his beloved pet elephant. It is soooooooooo big.

When you play football(I guess you must have played until u follow my footstep and call it a barbarian game) and when occasionally u get the chance to kick it your foot comes in contact with a very small portion of the whole surface of the ball. And it can be either black or white (guessing u play with an old fashioned football with alternate black and white hexagons). If you love the color black and your foot comes to the black hexagon your foot, who is only seeing the black portion will like the ball tremendously. Same if u or ur foot rather loved white and came in touch with white. The problem arises when the foot starts thinking the whole football is of the colour which it met and liked and falls in love with the ball. Late in the due course of the game it comes in contact with the other color which is strikingly different and almost opposite of what it loves it becomes horrified. And more to come, a close observation tells ur foot that the football is made up of equal portion of black and white leathers and the love dies almost immediately.

Now all those who are reading this blog and having a perfect relationship with “him or her” must be cursing me or worse laughing their heart out with my silly points and Mr Know-All attitude (In Bengali we call this kinda creature Sabjanta).

I wont take much time of urs anymore as my left hand has already started complaining loudly and my poor English is already hard pressed. Please don’t leave ur views as I don’t know how to check them.

I once again hereby thank u for your patient you showed.

Thursday, 3 January 2008

how to create a blog?

after orkutting and making fake profiles there its a new craze to make a blogspot. it was good foresight of google i must say. it atleast gives u a feeling of owning a website(even i read it in bloggers). anyway i strated trying with experts of various fields tipping me using another google project GTalk.

to fill the first page is easy. but problem came in second page. guides explained to me various fiields and their significance too well(i cant complaint against them, they had other commitments to other chatters) but what the hell shud i name it?
I can name it Faiz(its my blog and not me) neither Aseer(this is not my name at all) so i ordered my grey cells to come up with a name seeing which every surfer feels an uncontrollable urge of going thru it. It came up with names like bubbles of thoughts(bubbleofthoughts) or nanothoughts but seemingly some other blogger has used their cells much before i did today. I thot of my id which describes me as a cautious lawbreaker but thot of its implication and suddenly remembered abt the always tightening cyber laws and abstained myself from using that.

but i wasnt to give up. at this time of night(actually dawn) all the green dots in my gtalk was evaporating. so i thot with full concentration and came up with this ingenious name(never complain if u have heard this name before, u didnt register it with blogger and thats it). So i promptly maned it devil's doctrine and wow!!!!!!!!!!! i m writing this blog.

it such a great feeling to own a website. i always wondered about those fortunate ones who owned sites. and look at me, now i am one of them. I think i am going to lose lots of sleep for the next week or so. man o man , this is a great responsibility thrust upon me by God and I cant neglect it.

so, after this bries ceaserian experience(i am referring to vini ,vidi,vici) I m off for my bed todawn(i think tonight is inappropriate). May God help me in this noble mission of mine.