Friday, 20 April 2012

When You Miss Me

Like every other winter, this winter came. The migratory birds started flocking in. They always take rest for a few days here, in this city before going further east. It suits their need to weather. Never do they mingle with local birds, they look upon them as someone who has been city-pent for all their life. The migratory birds are better, they have seen life, they have seen the world, they know how it looks when snow fills up the world. They pass colourful cities.mountains, rivers. They fly over the ocean, they know so many cultures. Some of them can speak so many languages. Compare it to the life of the local birds of this city, dreary,same old routine. Wake up, eat, chirp and go to bed exactly where their ancestors slept.
This bird came too, with the other migratory birds. They have landed here tonight. Tired from the long distance they flew, they probably will see around the city, to see if anything has changed from last year. Nothing changes actually. It is always the same, be it any city. But this is his first trip. He was drinking the beauty of unseen world with open wide eyes. Can world be this much beautiful? All summer he has herd from his mother and now he was watching. He was singing the hymn in praise of the almighty which his mother taught him when he was a kid.
Tired, he found a place a bit away from the parents, after all he is grown up now. Watching the star filled sky and remembering the journey which was nothing less than a colourful vivid dream, he soon fell asleep.

Next day, he woke up early. All city must be seen, ohh nothing must be missed. He saw the parliament, strange round top it has. He saw the market and so many spices people are buying. The aroma was best he ever inhaled. He saw the big ground where lovers sit and talk endlessly. It was rather late when he wanted to take a bath in the nearby river.

He went there, choosing a good spot away from the crowd. The local birds were all bathing that time. He cant understand even a word they are chirping. He searched and searched for a somewhat lonely place. But alas, these local birds have made it their national bathing time perhaps. Giving up he started bathing near them, ignoring the envious and curious gaze he was receiving from them.
Suddenly he heard a song. This was perhaps the best voice he ever heard. He stopped bathing midway and tried to find the singer. Soon he spotted her. It was a local bird, not as gorgeous as his own clan, sitting on the branch of a riverside tree and her bath was done. She was jerking herself dry and singing. He forgot bathing. Not only the local bird was the best singer he ever heard but also there is a charm of simplicity around her. She wasn't pretty but so cute. She wasn't much colourful but in her simple look there was an appeal which his young love filled heart couldn't deny.

Strange things happen. The migratory,whose clan didn't consider the local birds worthy of greeting even, fell in love with a local bird who was nothing. He flew to her. She was amazed, she was surprised, she was shocked. She also has never seen someone so handsome nor someone has ever praised her beauty so much, leave apart her singing. For she was just one of them, an ordinary bird, destined to live within the city boundary forever. How can this happen? But before they realize they were in love.

They stayed there for long time. They talked little and watched each other more. And when her parents came looking for her,they were surprised to see her with a migratory. Rather awkwardly, they took her away. She promised to meet him early morning of the next day at the same place.

That night none of them could sleep.

They came like they promised next day. She was so shy but love removed every barrier. She taught him her language and she had to sing again and again for he was almost begging her to sing nonstop. She took him to places known only to local birds, she explained local culture. She even introduced him to her friends none of them could say a word out of sheer hesitance and surprise. Everywhere they went, amazed eyes of the local birds greeted them. But when did lovers cared? They lived a dream day of heaven.

The evening came, next day the immigrants were to leave. They stood facing each other, on the same branch they met for the first time. There, he first took her hand and kissed it. She shivered but how will .she hide the tears! He wiped the tears,¨call me whenever you miss me¨ he said, ¨ for how can I be away if you call me, I shall come¨. The day was like dream of heaven and the night was turning out to be a nightmare of hell. ¨I shall wait for you¨ the local bird said. ¨See,only few days and soon I will be returning from there and we will meet again.¨ the migratory bird said.
She left before her parents come looking for her, he accompanied her to her nest and waved good-bye.

Early next morning he left.

The local bird realized one thing when he left. They haven't asked each other´s names. How idiotic, she giggled at first, I shall ask it when he comes during return journey. He is idiotic too, he doesn't know the name of the girl he loves.

Days passed. He flew to further east, and then they spent all three months there. He cried alone when he learnt that the flock comes through one route and returns via another.

He went back to where they belong and waited for her call. For if she calls, he would fly even a thousand miles alone , just to be with her. The call never came.

The local birds wanted to call him but she didn't know his name. She lost her charm, she sang not ever again. Alone and sad she counted days,weeks and months for his return. Finally, when she couldn't take it any more, she started going to the same branch where they met first and sing the same song she was singing when he came to her. She thought ¨when you miss me¨ is his name because he has said, call me ¨ when you miss me¨ . So, with all her heart, she used to sang, ¨when you miss me¨. The voice was so sad that the tree cried, the bank cried, the river cried. ¨When you miss me, when you miss me, when you miss me¨ she called out.

She still sings, wake up during early morning, and listen carefully, somewhere near your house, she is still waiting and singing, ¨When you miss me, when you miss me, when you miss me, ¨

Friday, 13 April 2012

Why I believe in God?

Even at the mere suggestion of it, I jumped awkwardly and ran away almost invariably always,taking His name. ¨Oh, my God, no, not me¨ is how I expressed my inefficiency generally. For how can I write on something on which I am no authority. But, friends can be persuasive to the extent of emotional blackmailers and even worse a nagging pain in the neck. I finally decided to write this piece to alleviate the pain I am having in the neck for last few days.

Why I believe in God? The easiest way to answer this everlasting enquiry is to follow the principle ¨ offence is the best defence¨ and ask, why shouldn't I believe in God. To avoid the ohh-I-knew-you-wouldnt-answer-directly smile from my opposition, I am,albeit somewhat reluctantly, dropping this idea.
I chose to be a theist, after knowing and seeing and judging every piece of proof forwarded by both sides myself. Does that make me less logical? No. Believing in something which you cant understand doesn't prove you illogical. For example, I never can understand the mathematical proof of famous formula by Einstein, E=mc2. Should I deny to believe in it? I may do so, at the risk of getting ridiculed by this very scientific clan which often calls me illogical for believe in God without any empirical proof of His existence. I dare say, many of Stephen Hawking´s theories, esp about the 5th, 6th dimensions are not empirically proven. Why then the same minds bow to Hawking and shouts encore encore (in French).?
This universe, which is very orderly, yes I staunchly support what I just said and extremely orderly if I am pressed further, can not be the be outcome of some haphazard cosmic formations. I mean to say, every plan needs a planner, no plan is unplanned. How can this so very minutely planned system, be it ecology or spatial alignment of cosmic bodies or the arrangement of atomic particles, come into existence without having a definite planner? What you call that planner? I call Him, God.
Another point, which I learnt not from anybody but thought about, is the first life. OK fine, the big bang happened, some illegible permutations and combinations took place and this earth came into existence. How life came on it? Science does answer so vaguely that it is not even worthy of the time and effort spent on it to learn it. Lets analyze this a bit ´scientifically´.

There is no life on earth. Mathematically, it would be denoted as, Life = 0. (We may also use the set theory but I will certainly not dwell there to keep this simple)
Now, Some time after, there is life, mathematically again, Life = 1.
Now, how can we make 1 from zero by using zero only. The answer is simple, by multiplying it with infinity. And lo, there you have God. Didn't in every religion God said, I am infinite? And for the transition from ¨no life¨ to ¨life¨ i.e. from zero to one, we needed the touch of infinity, the divine touch.

(Mathematics experts may say, why not, 0+1 = 1. The answer is again simple, where from this 1 came, my learned logical friend that you are adding it to zero? Arent you forgetting, on earth life = 0.)

I was about to write my next point when Pasha, who was idly dragging cigarette with eyes fixated on what I am typing, said, you know what my friend? God isn't a theorem but a hypothesis. You cant prove him like a theorem, but believe Him like you believe in a hypothesis and you can prove everything else.

My pen dropped....

Saturday, 7 April 2012

Its raining here

Its raining again here. I woke up at midnight missing you.The window was open beside the bed, I let the wet moist air to hit me, to keep me awake, to remind me of your absence more. I let them make my eyes moist. Sometimes it feels good to be sad intentionally. At least the feeling is true, far from the artificial smile and happiness I receive from materialistic tangible pleasures.
Do you still remember when we ran under the portico of a roadside building when it suddenly started to rain? For the first time we were together and the area was in complete darkness. The slanted rain still hit us and we were shivering. Standing close to me, I remember, you were watching my eyes sometimes.
I remember, may be you don't, I used to walk in rain, without caring, just to reach you on time.I still do, just this time, too hide my tears. Yes, I know Mr Chaplin said this, but didn't he say it wonderfully?
Or my incessant poems and songs, you never were tired of those. Some self-made some from poets de la creme. Your watching me, saying, you will catch cold, you never care about your health....when I coughed just now I realised nobody says those anymore.Or may be there is still your memories, who whisper. I still smile like I used to do those days, ye jaan bhi agar nazar karoon to kam hai (even if I gift this life, its nothing.)
It was raining the evening when I said, I love you.
It was the rain who witnessed your acceptance.
It was again raining when you took my permission to leave for the last time. That day, it rained hardest. Or was it the sky crying ?
Aise hi rimjhim aisi fuhaarein aisi hi thi barsaat
khudse juda aur jag se paraye hum dono the saath
fir se wo saawan ab kyun na aaye
-- Majrooh
(same was the drizzle same was the rain same was the weather
away from the worlds and far from ourselves, we were together
why it doesnt now rain the same again )
I still wait, like I used to wait when it used to rain and you used to be late. I had the belief you would come. I still have the belief. Just this time I know my belief is wrong.
humko malum hai Jannat ki haqeeqat lekin
dil ko khush rakhne ko Ghalib khayal achcha hai
(I know the realities of heaven,but
so stay happy, O Ghalib, its best to pretend)
I hope its raining there too and the rain will write this message on your doorstep but till you read them, new rains will wash those away.

A Letter

Hi there
Writing this letter because I just want to write. I hope you are well, still smiling and making the world shine brighter. How are you? Just like the same like old days? In my imagination, you are. Guess what, I still see you in the dress you wore for the first meet,when you took my heart away with a mere casual glance.
I feel alone sometimes. Hahaha, yes, I can guess, what you would say. You have lots of admirers Aseer, why will you miss a dull girl who left you while you were begging her to stay with teary eyes. But you see, sometimes someone leaves and the place is never refilled.
I know you left me, you know you left me, the world knows you left me.It was perhaps our destiny. Who can fight it anyway? We fought,at least I did. I failed,thats another issue.
The last bottle of perfume spray you bought for me, I never used it after you left.Sometimes I open the cap and smell it. Reminds me of you. The unexpected gift, bought the shine in my eyes, which reflected from your eyes and I was basking in that glow. Hey, do you still remember or just giggling at a crazy man?
Yes, I didnt give up smoking, I know I am bad. You hated it and I gave up while you were with me, but since you left I resumed again. The blue smoke, when the cigarette burns idly, draws your face in the air and before I can quench the thirst of my eyes,it goes away. Damned smokes. Hey, but I promise, when I meet you again, I give up smoking. Or perhaps I will not be able to smoke.
I still make bed for two, and like my weird habit, I wake up and find myself on your pillow.hahaha, Old habits die hard. Ohh my, didn't you hate me for the sleep!
I have changed job, by the way. Did I inform you in the last letter? I am not working anymore in the corporate, you hated it. I remember getting late on our anniversary and I had no word to say sorry. I now teach students, little kids at home. I try to make them a better human being, not an engineer or a doctor. Wish, I had one of my own. At 43, I have started to feel lonely, and yes, old a bit.
Before I forget, The rose plant you planted, 3 big red roses are at full youth on it. I kissed them secretly last evening, imagining I am kissing you. Hope none saw me doing that, else they would have called me one insane old maniac hah
I know,like my all other letters, you will not answer. So I will keep it in the diary. Anyway, which postman can deliver a letter to the other world! I hope you are happy there. I hope I come there soon and meet you again.

still now, only yours